Welcome to Bollywood…ahem…Life

hahahahaha. this south asian charity fundraiser that i performed at was hilarious. specifically hilarious? the DATE AUCTION. so there were 3 girls and 3 guys auctioned off. the dates were preplanned, and most of them were worth $600 including 2-3 activities such as a hot air balloon ride/rock climbing/wine tasting and fancy dinner and then some evening event.

most of the guys went for between $300-800. yada yada yada. the $800 was OBVI the chair of the organization throwing the bash. he was a hot commodity.

but the girls. oh the south asian girls. the first one was some sort of cover model wearing crest-toothpaste (the gel sort) colored makeup. a keeper. this kid i knew in high school closed out the bidding at $850. WOOSH.

second girl in some sort of emerald gown. her hair was poofy, but i’m sure she spent hours making it just the right amount of poofiness. guess what? SAME KID FROM HIGH SCHOOL started bidding on her too. everyone was like WHAT IS HE DOING? but apparently there was no rule against that. guess what? HE WON HER TOO at like $700. i went to high school with this guy. what has he become?! apparently dateless. where is he getting this money?

anyway, third girl was my hottie dance teacher who can dance and sing like it’s her job. bidding started. even the chair who had just been auctioned off was bidding on her. murp. anyway. kid from high school? STARTS bidding on HER too. and we’re all like there is NO way we’re letting him win all three girls, especially not OUR girlie (a little in-group hostility).

anyway, the bidding is at like $850 between the chair and the guy from high school. GACK.

suddenly, a third gentleman enters the room (seriously, he shows up out of NOWHERE!) and is like (a la dr. evil) “one thousand dollars.” the room is silent, and then suddenly there’s wild applause! it’s madness! everyone is dancing and shouting. it’s PURE BOLLYWOOD MOVIE. hahahahahah. THEN, ALSO in pure bollywood fashion, the guy i know from high school walks over and shakes this guy’s hand. then we partied all night long, everyone was blissfully tipsy, and we lived happily ever after.

One thought on “Welcome to Bollywood…ahem…Life

  1. dink says:

    This was such a funny post! I laughed so hard in spots that tears ran down my face. Like this one:“i went to high school with this guy. what has he become?! apparently dateless.” Great post, thanks for the laughs!

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