Standard Operating Procedure (Same Old Picture)

this is what i like about offices. you can send the most bitchy terrible thing in a memo/email and as long as it sounds professional and is clean and concise, people will rip you to shreds about it BEHIND YOUR BACK but no one will say anything to your face.

example – in the office:

Dear Mr. Abramoff,
Due to the recent shifting in investors, the IBEW will no longer be requiring your services. We thank you for your years of service to the company and wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Fred Block (poor employee has never even seen/talked to this guy)

reaction: he is fired. pack up cubicle in a small box. sit on curb outside office. cry.

example – in a bar:

Yo Abes, looks like they’re kicking your ugly ass outtie for lack of purpose!!!

reaction: throwing of chair.

granted. you don’t get health insurance in a bar, but c’mon, leisure rules. and someone trying to end your leisure is problematic. on multiple levels.*

*i will now end with “on multiple levels” regularly to increase the profundity of my statements.

ex: i rule. on multiple levels.

One thought on “Standard Operating Procedure (Same Old Picture)

  1. Phil says:

    Tac is a member of the brotherhood of electrical workers.You should ask him his methods of firing people. It generally involves a pistol and a countdown from 10 to leave the premises.

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