The Cold Hard Facts

i’ve always been a staunch advocate of eating food cold.

food hot = amazing.

same food cold = not as good, but trying to recreate the original freshness is a pipe dream (sorry microwave inventor, but you’re still loaded).

so i’m ok with eating shit cold. plus i’m lazy.

but lately, things i’ve eaten cold have taken on flavors that did not exist in the original product. i ate some cold pad thai and the noodles were crunchy. it’s one thing to become cold and soggy. but cold and crunchy? it’s like they uncooked themselves (which is a whole lot more trouble than just absorbing some residual water).

secondly i just ate the rest of my bagel, which i first acquired warm and toasted this morning. it tastes like a wet cat rolled all over it. somehow i don’t understand how a loss of temperature could invite such a foul taste with it.

should i start warming up things that used to be warm but have sat around for awhile? i feel like it’s the same principle as those men obsessed with their high school football glory days. you can’t bring it back, ok? you just can’t.

if you think you’ve successfully brought it back (my one caveat: the softbaked cookie), you’re going to have some issues. mostly of the burnt tongue kind. because people who heat their food up regularly are the same people who get hella excited as soon as the microwave CHINGS and they spastically take a bite without testing it first and then end up spitting their nuked food chunks and microscopic bits of burnt tongue everywhere. freaks.


not so fresh, but stop living in the past!

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