An Egg-zistential Crisis

i just thought of something! i guess hardcore vegetarians, and by default vegans, don’t swallow after a BJ, do they?! i mean, not that everyone else does either, but even if they wanted to, that would be against the rules. this thought came to me in a EUREKAlike fashion so i had to publicize it.

i was eating some boiled eggs you see. it was a natural thought progression. ewww. also one of the boiled eggs had one of those red spots on it which may or may not have almost been a fated chicken’s eye in some parallel universe so i’m feeling rather grossed out and unsettled. because i ate it anyway. i don’t think i can eat eggs anymore.

at this rate, there will be nothing left that i can eat. i didn’t originally become a vegetarian because of any underlying huge moral or personal reasons. i just had a bet with my friend about who could hold out longer. but slowly and surely, i am getting more and more sensitive about moving around creatures (even plants! i kid you not!) as well as my infringing on their moving around with my incisors. at this rate, i’ll be on an inorganic IV in no time.

the worst part of all is i’ve been craving the taste of meat like no other. because i had it when i was younger. and i can’t get enough soy CHIKN or GROUND ROUND or whatever these days. what am i, suddenly, catholic? guilty and repressed.

there’s no way this can end well

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