Alone, A Loner, Alone St.

so it’s been increasingly hard to make plans with people because they keep getting flakier by the day. but, i’m not innocent of such crimes, so it’s about time i admit flakiness is a very real, very isolating problem. but instead of getting upset, i’m doing things the old-fashioned way. i picked out primetime tv shows i like on monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday nights. that way, if someone flakes out on me, i don’t have to cry the whole subway ride home as usual. as for fridays and saturday nights, well, i’m prepared to go lone ranger on those nights. especially if i’ve stocked up enough loser chic from the rest of the week. and sunday nights, well, those are ones of which we do not speak.

valentine’s day. oh me oh my. surprisingly enough, it’s single people who are enraging me more than couples these past few days. i’ve seen couples everywhere. they appear out of the woodwork around this time of year. and no, it’s not because my couples-awareness radar is heightened. i’m always obsessed with couple-watching. yesterday, i saw an amorous snowball fight, an impromptu piggy back ride, and a subway nuzzle goodbye. and instead of the usual blackout rage, i felt a warm oozy feeling creeping up from my midsection. meanwhile, when i see someone walking alone and angry, i too feel alone and angry. so i grimace. and then, i realize they might be hurting inside. so i cover up the grimace with a very constipated smile. and so while the couples make me sway and cavort in dreamy sighs, the singletons issue forth from me a very grotesque face. which basically illustrates my feelings on the matter. and yet, my mind works so clearly when i am constantly trying to find someone, anyone, anyone at all. it is always on the verge of a personal epiphany.

my co-intern likes to give high-fives when we figure things out. and likes to say “we’re totally slammed” when we have a big workload. he’s a rugby player. i really don’t know what to make of it all.

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