Can a microwave help me?

i like to eat, if not completely healthy, at least fair and balanced (hah!). and so, i try and make sure i fit in certain food groups for lunch, the great equalizer of the day. veggies and fruits are a biggie. since i don’t eat meat, i need to pay attention to my proteins. wait, this gets more interesting. so, since i don’t have time to cook, i usually just combine foods without cooking them resulting in unappetizing (crappetizing, rather) meals that i subject myself to on a daily basis all in the name of brownbagging it. my main entree today:

a handful of spinach leaves
a handful of carrots.
some ketchup. (i love condiments)
some hummus. (i love condiments)
a little tub of salad dressing (again. i like garnish.)
a slice of cheese (mmmm. cheese. no kraft singles crap neither.)
soy nuggets. (remember? there are condiments around!)
some bread product. (mmmm. carbs.)
a banana
an orange
an apple
a granola bar
soy chips (they’re delicious and mildly exciting)

they are disgustingly raw and bland combinations. i was too lazy to even make anything of them. not a salad. not a sandwich. i ate them all separately. i’ve regressed behind early man into animal forms who nibble at things. i guess hummus is pretty evolved. when hummus is the only thing you’ve got going for you and artificially generated plant “meat,” you need to reassess your priorities.

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