ok i really need to send a care package to my adopted soldier and pronto. she probably thinks i am corresponding with other soldiers. the turnaround is that slow. it’s like i’m a teenage boy in one of those cheesy sitcoms who’s on a date with two girls at the same time in the same restaurant. and the only thing separating them is one booth and a ficus plant. except, in my case, one girl is an adopted soldier and one is a serious case of ineptitude.
so i performed comedy at an open mike last night. the crowd had thinned out a bit by the time i was up. i was last. and the only girl. so i got AA-type support clap-ter (claps in place of laughs) for that one. you’re a minority, we salute you! i thought i performed pretty mediocre, but once my time was up, the host let me perform another joke.
and then, after i was done, everyone was a-clappity clapping all excited-like. and then, after i got off stage, more experienced comics were telling me “heeyy g’job girlie whirlie!” so that was a straight shot of ego to the head.
and then one guy. this is so ridiculous, i hafta share. one guy was like, “hey nice bits” and i was like “hey thanks.” then he said “by the way, all the male comedians have decided you’re as hot as shit so i suggest you add a bit about your boyfriend being a serial killer.” i blinked once. and twice. and then said “uh yeah thanks,” and he nodded somberly and moved on.
wow. i guess if you’re not a male, foul-mouthed, or accustomed to using the word ‘pussy’ a lot, you might get some positive press. again. the minority card. i’ll take what i can get.