Hook, Line, and Stinker

kodak snippets from this weekend:

“what a nice beta fish. what is his name?”
“omg. are you serious?”
“yeah. pretty great, huh?”
“uhhh. yeah i guess if you’re into slavery.”
“nooo. massa! as in he’s my massa-beta!”
“of course. the logic was right in front of my nose.”

“girl, you UNDERCOVER sexy!!!”
“um, thanks?”
“what i mean to say is you UNDERCOVER…SEXY!!!”

“here’s my weirdest diner experience. i was 17, and hanging out at this diner at like 2 in the morning with some friends in the ‘burbs. in walks a pimp and two prostitutes. obviously his two prostitutes. they’re all loaded out of their minds on some drug or another. the two prostitutes go in the bathroom. the pimp sits down at a table and starts scavenging the menu (even sex doesn’t sell as well as country-fried steak after midnight). suddenly, bathroom door opens. out comes one prostitude. sunny side NAKED (i.e., all naked). out comes the other one. sunny side CLOTHED (i.e., in a prostitute’s way). they start making out. the pimp does not flinch. keeps looking for something to eat. the manager is throwing a psychofit saying they all must leave. it was one of the strangest things i’ve ever seen. all at the ripe young age of 17.”
“ah. you win.”

“do you have any STDs?”
“no, but, you know, there are medicines you can take for those.” (!!!)

2 thoughts on “Hook, Line, and Stinker

  1. Ron says:

    wow. you didn’t even need to see a clockwork orange or kids or trainspotting or requim for a dream. sounds like one of those moments where you go “well, i’m all grown up now.”[cortikal@hotmail.com]

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