i totally choked on standup last night, or as the comedians say, “i ate it HARD.”
i had these huge cliff-notes too not even little cards or writing on my hand. these long schpiels i wrote out and then tried to refer back to during my act, but i kept getting lost in these forsaken tangents. but i pretended everyone in the audience was my friend. especially the girl in the front who was “smokingly hot” according to one male comedian [he said some other stuff too backstage but i’ll save your virgin ears] who kept referring to her cleavage throughout his whole act.
i befriended her secretly and telepathically and made plenty of asides just to her. plus she was a nodder and she nodded effusively when i said things like they really hit home with her. so you know, yesterday was for her. then i practically ran off stage and ran away into the night. some of the more flouncy male comedians wouldn’t even give me the time of day. but some of them would. and so it goes. whatever. it’s nice to see the dark side and come back to tell the tale.
and then. i made a phone call. so i could really tie up my loose ends for the week.
i bawled for awhile when i got home. but today, it all seems hilarious. like my life is a giant dali painting and why didn’t i see it before. back on the horse, baby.