Just Another Morning Commute

first things first. the era of riding the subway with no hands might be coming to an involuntary close. unless they BREATHALYZE subway conductors or drugtest or something. or at least allow for less schizophrenic train driving. but then again, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the arena. i kind of did that. i fell on the subway today. and then this lady fell on me. yeah, it was a must-see commuter moment.

today while i was walking to work, i saw this homeless guy stretching out his stomach. you know, the seal stretch, where you look like a seal. anyway, i realize if you live outside, you gotta stretch outside. but it could have gotten ugly because i couldn’t stop staring at this poor man trying to get his stretch on.

this was not the guy. but you get the point.

then i was crossing an intersection with this construction worker. and this little old lady in a VW bug just about peeled through both of us. and he shook his fist and cursed at her, and i grinned mightily at such an outward display of testosterone, and he said, “hey cutie, didja see that? she almost hit me!” and i was like “i know. it’s terrible.” and then we made out. juuuuust keeeeeding.

but this car with tinted windows did pass by and this guy rolled down his window so he could holler at me. i wish when guys hollered at me, i could understand what they were saying. luckily, his eyes leered it all. and i got the gist of it.

yeah so era of hook up obsession with sketchball has come to a close. the funny thing about rejection is what doesn’t utterly crush you gives you a better sense of humor. i think the real charm in being the rejected rather than the rejectee is taking it in stride. getting a last laugh. and realizing he probably had the clap. time to find a new obsession. i had to follow this one dude off the train today because that’s what i do. i think i should just write “slightly imbalanced” on my forehead. it’s only fair to give people warning.

2 thoughts on “Just Another Morning Commute

  1. Ron says:

    no, you really don’t want to hear what guys say…basic summary:“Hey baby, didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew…!”“Hey sugar, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.”“Hey sexy lady, Happy hour’s over but it’s still going strong at my place.”or the ever-so-risque…“Hey baby, I’m not an expert in hardware, but I know that you’d be able to screw my nuts off. “be careful what you wish for. also if you put that warning on your forehead you should probably finish the thought…”slighty unbalanced yet terribly mezmorizing”

  2. Aparna says:

    awwwww ron, i’m a sucker for compliments. hahahaha. one of my friends was once called “undercover sexy” by one of these many male admirers. at least y’all are creative.

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