Picks, Pick-ups, and the Race Card

oh man. hahaha. some guy from these open mics i’ve been doing SENT ME some indian jokes he thinks i should tell because i’m indian. i told him i’m not really big into the race card, but gentleman that he was, he insisted. here are three of them:

My uncle, aunt and my 10 cousins all died from starvation last week in India, the good news is that they left me the family cow in their will.

Indian stereotypes almost got me killed. Yeah, I had a sniper stalking me for 6 months but nobody said anything because they thought the red dot on my forehead was supposed to be there.

Being an Indian comic is definitely not stereotypical. And since we got the self serve Big Gulp machine, I have more time to write jokes.


i can’t believe i have people writing jokes i should tell for me!!!

in other news, my dad forced me to make my bed and lie in it today. i kid you not. my parents made me deconstruct the bed i’ve had since i was 5 so i could go on to bigger better things. now i have this yellow canopy thing that looks like a banana invaded my room and made itself into a princess recliner. top notch. i feel so grown up…for a 12-year old.

and finally, a man in a plastic bag stared at me today. i wonder what’s going through a guy’s head when he’s covered in plastic wrap that makes him think he can bag chicks. whatever it is. i want to buy some shares in it. and invest. and invest. and invest. and then sell.

also. i interviewed to be a sports writer today. i would be the only girl in a small little office with 4 other guys. most of them sports junkies. ok, all of them. the editor in chief of the paper said “hey for such an intensive position, you seem to lack the energy required to really heave-ho on things.” that was because i got no sleep and didn’t have any coffee but i whipped out a surefire response to that one about grace under pressure. and then i swindled them more with some other half-truths. they told me i’d have no life except for high school sports. i have to say, despite it all, i’m intrigued. the atmosphere would be sick for some anecdotes. one of the guys is named bj. muahahahh. i even commented on my march madness picks. damn, i’m good.

7 thoughts on “Picks, Pick-ups, and the Race Card

  1. Aparna says:

    i am dali — you are, as always, a delight. kirby — bite it. both of you get a shout out in my next post. SO EXCITING. yeah i might have minced your words a little. bite me.

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