yo i need to stop being a waste of space today. but i can’t help it. the walls are talking to me.
i need to share this song with everyone. i am moved to do so.
Police Dogs Bonfires
i got the following text msg yesterday: “You’re a complicated girl ya know” at 11:03 p.m.*
understatement of the century. but i’m not bragging about my “layers” and “depth.” hardly. don’t make me crinkle my eyes and snort. i mean, i’ve got eeshues from here to lake okechobee. but on the upside, when i smile, it’s not all gums. that was what my male coworker just nitpicked about this superhot girl. he said her smile was all gums. is this even a valid complaint if your titties could not be firmer if they were handpicked by hugh hefner? pick your battles, ladies and gentlemen, pick your battles. we’re not all the energizer bunny. certainly not as annoying and pink anyway. like an itchy vagina. i can’t stop namedropping genitalia. PEN-ARSE. WHOA.
*who can handle that shit at 11:03 p.m.? i was on the verge of slumber, my pie-eyed friends and then this text msg weighs on me like a ton of bricks so i responded the only way i knew how. i said: “hahaha lolz wuteva.” yeah in case you found me intimidating before, i text msg like a 13 yr old girl. and no, i don’t do it facetiously. whup? ok, what? oh, this just in: yes i do.