Sniffing Up the Wrong Alley

Epoxy on all your houses. Not really. Though the lightheadedness is mildly amusing.

~today is messy ponytail day. if your hair is nicely gathered, designated girls and boys, in an appropriate and even attractive waterfall, please redistribute your assets so that your hair looks, at best, like a natty mop. i’m trendsetting.

~my stomach is making LOUD LOUD LOUD clunky noises that are vibrating off the walls of this workspace. everytime one of these cavernous baritone groans emerges, the coworker sitting diagonal to me raises one eyebrow at his monitor in barely disguised concern, as if sharing a private pained moment with it.

~kanye is addictive. he uses levels. i have now listened to this song 12 times in a row. i suggest giving it a fair and impartial hearing.

~i was supposed to have drinks with the misanthropic writer tonight, planned more than a week in advance, but he forgot. it is his wife’s birthday today. like none of us saw that coming.

~the construction workers are using excessive glue today. why. i don’t ask questions. but i can no longer smell it. this is probably not the best of signs. but i love the smell of gasoline. two great things that go great together. yeah, my brain is slowly dripping down the back of my neck. not actually. i’m hyperbolizing. if it’s not up to par, blame the lack of effort i’m putting into…well…everything today.

~i like people who sigh loud enough that you know they want someone to ask, “what’s wrong, booboo?” because honestly, they could just sigh to themselves. but no, it’s gotta be louder than that. loud enough so the world can hear. i’m going to say it next time i hear an audible sigh, “what’s wrong, booboo?” they’ll love it. i know they will.

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