the misanthropic writer and i are going to drive around the beltway and listen to XM laugh radio. this, in itself, could be construed as a genuine miracle.
when i sit in the same position in front of a desk all day, i start getting frankenstein neck. frankenstein neck is when you feel like there are distinct points on both sides of your neck where bolts are jutting out. frankenstein neck also makes you move your head and neck as those there were bolts in them. your brain is affected within 1 hour of developing frankenstein neck. you start opening your eyes wide when you hear a question and pausing very awkwardly before you speak and making faces of concern.
this is the week of pissy people apparently. tread lightly and speak softly for there are many who you will offend just waiting, just waiting for you to mess up. this is when i least like myself. when i am a pissy person. it’s so irrational but it feels so good when you’re doing it. well it does for 2 seconds anyway but how luxurious are those 2 seconds? wrap them up in a bow and give them out during the holidays. i’m sure people will appreciate it. and they will show their appreciation by snapping at you.