ok. i’m sorry but this unemployment thing is fun. i’m still in the stage where i feel like i’m on vacation. i haven’t yet progressed into ‘i am a waste of space.’ i am now going to brag about what it is i’m doing because the rest of you have at least a little money, insurance and dignity. my mother walked into my room this morning and said, “can we wait on these tests until you have insurance?” sure, mom, sure. i’m not putting that one in context. hah!
so i’m listening to this great band that i’m going to see later tonight, probably by myself. i’m eating fresh melon. later i might sit out in the sun and read a book. i’m applying to some jobs. i’m doing a little dance occasionally on the carpet so i don’t hurt the underworked pansy soles of my feet. i slept in until about now to catch up on some sleep. and i’m writing jokes. i might watch that MTV show “date my MOM” later. and i’m having lunch with the misanthropic writer tomorrow. wahoo.
anyway, i realize that last paragraph was self-indulgent and gratuitously so (like the rest of this plan ever isn’t…gahahaha), but it’s just so that in a week or so when i’m semi-suicidal and hugging myself and rocking back and forth clutching a teddy bear with slits in its stomach and stuffing coming out, i will remember the good times.
sad macauley culkin makes me laugh.
speaking of good times, yesterday i had this little comedy thing at this college festival. on the sign, it said 19 LOCAL PROS performing on it. it was 4 hours of comedy plus a performance by the one and only Daniel Tosh in the evening. man, what a way to spend day one of unemployment. just watching live standup all day. my set went ok too. that was exciting. college kids are nicer down south. or maybe they were just respecting the human representation of their impending futures (unemployed, live with your parents). RESPECK.
anyway, then Daniel Tosh was on for later that night. there was a green room, and my friend tyler went to go talk to tosh. there were also lots of snacks in the room like softbaked pepperidge farm cookies and doritos. so of course, i tagged along like a little mute groupie. hahah. and tosh and some of the opening comics were playing this game where they try and toss a roll of masking tape over a standing water bottle about 15 feet away. oh. boys will be boys. i was kind of scared of tosh. i just observed him quietly, glad that he didn’t talk to me. but hey, i was in the same room. i scare easy.
tosh’s performance was interesting. he has very incendiary comedy, as tyler would say. he kept asking people to take off their clothes. after that, tyler and another comedian named andy and i took the subway home. we talked about comedy and life. the night was lovely. then when i got to my subway stop, there was a huge fire at the subway station and i picked my way through streams of firefighters and fire engines and ambulances to get home. it was surreal and it smelled like burning. i felt like a revolutionary. even though the comedy and the fire had nothing to do with each other.