Temporarily In Service

things i do when i’m sleep-deprived:
1) get anxious
2) think rapidfire thoughts in sudden death spirals…they all end in tragedy and hopelessness
3) eat chocolate chips
4) not sleep
5) pick my face

this temping stuff is HARD WORK. it’s harder than real work.

*this economist gave me a small disk to print out a document for him and the disk smelled really heavily of cologne. it was like he dipped it in a vat of scent so his gadgets were as metrosexual as he himself. maybe it was a freak primping accident.

*today i almost sneezed on an ambassador’s conference swag. luckily i deflected the mobile trajectory within moments of his personal driver coming to pick up the leather gift padfolio.

hello. i am: PADFOLIO.

*and i had to make business cards for this other guy because he forgot his own business cards in his home country. WHOOPSIE DAISY! they were part-ghetto, part-acceptable.

business cards should not have too much information on them.

*the rest is a big blank. coffee. gum. i chewed some gum for 2 hours. at one point, i ate a crumb off my lip. and realized i hadn’t had anything to eat for the past 4 hours. so was there a crumb on my lip for 4 hours, or did someone else’s crumb land on my lip, and did i eat it? i felt restless at many points through the day. i gave out leather gift padfolios.

that’s the way the crumb crumbles. onyourlip.

*the best part of all was that the entire time i was wearing my mother’s orthopedic easy spirit black bubble wrap shoes. i call them “bubble wrap” because the inside of the shoes is like bubble wrap. except it doesn’t pop. how awesome would it be if it did though? i looked pretty professional in my geriatric shoes all day. let me tell you. they complemented my penguin suit fabulously.

hello. i am: BUBBLE WRAP shoe. (or a close representation)

in conclusion, my sleep deprivation is reaching excessive levels for myself. as i doze off, i am starting to feel like i am reaching a higher plane of existence. time to keep picking my face.

this is adorable.

One thought on “Temporarily In Service

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