my cube sharer and i are playing this weird game. it’s a slow day. so she keeps looking at my computer screen to see what i’m doing. and then i return the favor to look at her computer screen and see what she’s doing. this might end in a catfight. i have a proactiv imagination. it’s free of pores clogged with the mundane.
i had an interview this morning. i hate interviews. they make me feel like a schluppe. i have to dress up like a penguin. and then talk about how i’m highly qualified for something for which i am one blodgit qualified. and that one blodgit is that i have a face. that is what i have in common with the position for which i’m applying. that i have a face.
“miss nancherla, what are your qualifications?”
“don’t you see them? right here. you’re looking at them. whoa, my eyes are up here, hoss.”
“that’s it then?”
“yup, what you see is what you get.”
“well, thanks for coming in. we’ll be in touch.”
“i brought a few blurry polaroids? but you can still make out the essential features.”
“um. sure. give ’em here.”
needless to say, it’s a wonderful life. i’m thrilled i got some face time. to convince people of my tired notions and facetious claims to personal efficacy and the like.