Spelling My Motherf-in Words From Side 2 Side, WHAT?

hey. this is why i like gangsta rap. because it makes me laugh. reppppresent Three 6 Mafia…grammy winners and all that, shiiiiit.

…from Side 2 Side….

“[DJ Paul]
Yeahhhh… This a dance song for all my niggaz in the club
that don’t dance… Just be in the back arms folded…
Blunt in the mouth… Cap pulled down just scopin everythang
KnowhatI’msayin? Just in da cut… Watchin you haters
With a tone on em…

[Chorus – DJ Paul]
I’m in the club posted up (up) got my arms folded
Blunt in my mouth and these haters I’m scopin I’m just
Twistin my body from side 2 side (I’m just)
Twistin my body from side 2 side
I’m in the club posted up (up) got my arms folded
Fitted pulled down and these haters I’m scopin I’m just
Twistin my body from side 2 side (I’m just)
Twistin my body from side 2 side

[DJ Paul]
See ho I don’t dance (dance)
In the city where I’m from I wear the pants (wear the pants)
These bitches think they cool (cool)
I got the dick so I make the rules (make the rules)
I got a big ol cock (big ol cock)
I love a bitch with a big ol glock (big ol glock)
She love suckin up cum (cum)
I think I’mma give her some (some)
These niggaz in here think I’m a ho (I’m a ho)
Cuz I’m quiet and ain’t on the dance flo (dance flo)
But if one of ’em try me (try me)
I’mma be the new ink in his diary (diary)
I bet my click thicker than his (his)
We gon leave him on the floor in tears (tears)
Plus I got a big tone (tone)
Y’all suckaz betta leave me alone (leave me alone)”

my favorite parts are OBVIOUSLY:

1. the echo on “wear the pants” and “diary”

2. “big ol glock” so conveniently rhyming with “big ol cock”

2. the “twistin my body from side 2 side” chorus…for some reason it reminds me of those giant animal machines at Chuck-E-Cheese that did robo-concerts for birthdays. beyond awesome. i can’t wait to see the video.

now that we’ve had a word from our sponsor (brought to you by the letters W, T and F, and the numbers 3 and 6), let’s talk about the national spelling bee. let’s break it on down, if you will.

the national spelling bee finals were last night. let’s talk. about that. if you didn’t know, the south asian population in the united states is very fond of spelling proficiency. i was in a handful of spelling competitions during childhood. my sister made it onto TV with her spelling prowess. i have the video at home to prove it. unless it got taped over by a special on deepak chopra. it happens. the point is i have a fondness for the spelling of words.

let’s talk. 5 observations. gotta cap it somewhere.

1. at one point, one of the commentators said the following “he’s the only home schooler left in the competition.” that is all.

2. one of the spellers was reinstated after the judges mistakenly disqualified her for misspelling a word when she indeed spelled it right. they had to consult an expert (i.e., geraldo). she was also one of the more fetch girls in the competition. beauty over brains, whooooo.

3. one boy, after elimination, was asked what he credited his success to in making it so far in the competition, and he brilliantly hesitated before saying “i don’t know! jesus maybe?”

4. the youngest member of the competition was a tiny 10-year-old south asian girl. after misspelling her word and being eliminated, she went and sat in her father’s lap. but wait. two rounds later, a south asian boy, 14 years old, misspells a word, gets eliminated and…goes and sits in his father’s lap. his little sister looks at him in disappointment on camera.


5. commentator, after speller misspells a word and is eliminated, “we had such high hopes for him. who knows why he stuck that ‘a’ in there at the end? we’ll never know…” indeed. one of life’s great mysteries. at another point, “i don’t want to say it, but this guy’s a wild card. whup, i said it. i said it. *chuckle* *chuckle*” SMACK. whoops the SMACK was my imagination. pardons.

5 thoughts on “Spelling My Motherf-in Words From Side 2 Side, WHAT?

  1. Anonymous says:

    look, it’s a virgin page just waiting for a comment.heh, the spelling bees were old school. now all the aunty and uncle-jis have money riding on their little definition-spewing prodigies.don’t pretend you forgot the dictionary that lived in the car.-bean

  2. Melissa Marie says:

    My dad used to win spelling bees back in the day, when they were locally broadcast on the radio. Bean is right: the kids are now little money makers. Being able to spell worth a damn won’t keep those little nerds from getting the shit kicked out of them if they were sent to a different school! hahaGreat lyrics. I, too, loved the rhyming of “Glock” and cock. I would go into a diatribe about shooting blanks, but I’m still reeling from last night’s debauchery and am very incoherent. You’re welcome on the link add. Those who end up on my list are few and should be proud! I’m a miser with my page space!

  3. Aparna says:

    bean – the dictionary in the car ensured i have one braincell left in my blobby head. mm – oh man. you mean a different school than home school? yes glock and cock is without fail one of the best uses of rhyme i’ve ever seen. keep on keepin on folksies

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