Stop Bogarting All the Shit! I Want to Eat Some Too!

ok. here are some new words you can use that i made up recently, maybe i didn’t, but i’ve never heard them before, so as far as i can tell, they’re mine:

fucking awkward = fawkward

no kidding/no shit hybrid = no kidshit

good. that was your lesson for the day.

let’s go ever forwards, ever onwards.

yesterday, i ate shit at comedy. it doesn’t even bother me anymore. i have a 30/70 hit-miss rate, and it’s good to be right when you think you’re going to be right. before i went on stage, i was like i am going to suck and then i did. it was very self-affirming of my ability to analyze situations correctly. it was not as self-affirming of my ability to be funny, but one success per day, right?

other than that, my friend grace called me a bogart yesterday. she told me i’m acting like a humphrey bogart, walking off into the misty distance, cutting my losses. is there a higher compliment? no. there isn’t. shut up. here’s looking at you…SHUT UP. i’m walking away. i’m walking away into the misty distance. but then i looked up ‘to bogart‘ something and it means to keep everything to yourself. i don’t think that’s what grace meant but it’s too late, isn’t it? once a bogart, always a bogart. time to walk away into the misty distance. what a ridiculous paragraph.

i’m the bloke on the left. i’m about to walk away.

abort post.

oh one thing. girls who hate other girls. discuss.

6 thoughts on “Stop Bogarting All the Shit! I Want to Eat Some Too!

  1. sammygeerock says:

    “Of all the COMEDY joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” Any one say that to you, or did you say that to anyone Bogart?

  2. Aparna says:

    lauren bacall = my audience. i’m like i love you guys but me and my jokes have to abandon you and go exist on another plane (oooh plane pun) that you will never understand. maybe laugh? maybe? please?sammy g –> i don’t think i have a right to own a comedy joint. if i do, please let me know!

  3. sammygeerock says:

    Not sure if you have the right to own a comedy joint either. Then again this America. I’d probably have to see your stand up act to deem you worthy enough, but I’m also not in the business of handing out joints. (well maybe I am.)

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