ok. here are some new words you can use that i made up recently, maybe i didn’t, but i’ve never heard them before, so as far as i can tell, they’re mine:
fucking awkward = fawkward
no kidding/no shit hybrid = no kidshit
good. that was your lesson for the day.
let’s go ever forwards, ever onwards.
yesterday, i ate shit at comedy. it doesn’t even bother me anymore. i have a 30/70 hit-miss rate, and it’s good to be right when you think you’re going to be right. before i went on stage, i was like i am going to suck and then i did. it was very self-affirming of my ability to analyze situations correctly. it was not as self-affirming of my ability to be funny, but one success per day, right?
other than that, my friend grace called me a bogart yesterday. she told me i’m acting like a humphrey bogart, walking off into the misty distance, cutting my losses. is there a higher compliment? no. there isn’t. shut up. here’s looking at you…SHUT UP. i’m walking away. i’m walking away into the misty distance. but then i looked up ‘to bogart‘ something and it means to keep everything to yourself. i don’t think that’s what grace meant but it’s too late, isn’t it? once a bogart, always a bogart. time to walk away into the misty distance. what a ridiculous paragraph.
i’m the bloke on the left. i’m about to walk away.
oh one thing. girls who hate other girls. discuss.