Locked and Loaded

i just realized i’ve already come up with crazy things i’m going to say about my dead-end jobs once i’m famous. i don’t think these things are supposed to be premeditated. i think you have answers to these questions because you actually were at the bottom of your luck and then sunshine smiled on you and said “HEY. BUCK UP CHEERIO. Daddy’s buying Froot Loops from here on out.”

sign of a good harvest season

i don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. i think it indicates things are looking up. anyway the point is i don’t have it so bad. i don’t work at a chicken rotisserie where i have to dress up like a giant chicken so how good can my interview answers really be? and furthermore, i probably just jinxed myself from ever actually being famous by admitting that i’m already preparing to be famous someday. it’s all null and void where prohibited (read: everywhere) now. i’m exempt from it all. social security, health insurance, taxes and any level of fame.

even neighborhood-level fame for baking rumorworthy pies. but wait! i have answers to local newspaper interview type questions too, even ones like “what is your favorite hometown bagel bakery to frequent when you’re not on location shooting (crap) and why?” i am stocked up with trivial answers about my life and no one is asking questions. i’m not saying that out of self-pity but rather genuine concern that the world is missing out.

i am not. i’d like to give a shout-out to my homey self-deprecation. bff!

3 thoughts on “Locked and Loaded

  1. Yoda says:

    Have you figured out which local commercials you’ll feature in? ‘coz fame isn’t complete without a few ads!Whatever you do, don’t do the car dealership ones. They suck.

  2. Aparna says:

    oh come on yoda they’re not that bad…have you seen the local furniture store ones? they make you want to never buy furniture ever everrrrr.bryan anthony–glittery and fab! you’re too kind. pies are certainly in the not so distant future, you have my word.

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