ok. i’m going to talk about some dull things to you, interesting to me.
avert your eyes!
1) i just flipped my indian cream of wheat breakfast across two work stations. there were little crumbles of bulgur everywhere! it happened so fast, it didn’t hit me until i looked down at my empty bowl. that forced me into contact with the other side of the cube. the one where my new cube sharer sits. she has a lot of snacks stored up. she has soda and candy and crackers and EZ cheese. she’s not here today. snicker snicker snicker. oh please. i wouldn’t do that. but EZ cheese, you guys…
i would never cry over spilled milk, only EZ cheese
2) i saw a fox this morning. i was trotting past a creek, and a little red head popped up and we both looked at each other and totally freaked. he bolted and i ran back the way i came. then i sheepishly turned back around thinking “why are you afraid of a malnourished suburban fox? he had a right to run away. you’re huge. you’re like sumosize to mr. fox. he has a good fox head on his fox shoulders. that’s why he ran away. you’re just a coward.” it was a sobering moment. for everyone. including the local news crew.
i was skurred
3) i can’t stop eating. since i massacred my breakfast, i have to find other things to eat. i ate a square of chocolate but that was supposed to be for later. i have a rotten salad for lunch. i’m not even kidding. it’s rotten. ROTTEN. you can smell the decay. yesterday i was picking out the only halfway rotten baby carrots out of the bag to eat for today. are things really so desperate in my household? yeah i guess. the leafy green mix isn’t looking too hot either. it smells like mildew. i’m thinking of eating instant soup dry maybe for lunch. i don’t even know what’s going on. there’s a hot water machine down the hall. i just feel like bringing the pain today. i’m going to regret it. if there’s one thing i’ve learned recently, stomach problems are no joke!
no hot lady should suffer EVER.