in case i ever had an unrealistic delusion that my name is not that hard…the world has a kind little way of waving numerous life post-its in my face that my name is challenging, for everyone and anyone, at all times.
email today: mr. aparna — here are the documents you requested.
telephone earlier: oh so your name is ana? (you wish!)
bar, earlier this week:
comic: your name reminds me of apadravia
me: what’s that?
comic: it’s the most painful (therefore, best) penis piercing!
(right through the head of the beast, i’m sparing you pictures, google it, be simultaneously wowed and terrified)
email a few months ago: hello anan, thank you for contacting us.
at a bar, two weeks ago:
waspy dude: hey, what’s your name?
me: you’re not going to like it.
dude: try me.
me: toodles and told ya so.
at a bar, in a land before time:
dude: so what’s your name?
dude: uhhh what?
dude: i’m just going to call you rachel.
and last but not least, my dear friend somi, thought my name had a T in it for 3 out of 4 years of college. a SILENT T. she spelled my name apartna on my dry erase board in permanent marker for all to see asking as to my whereabouts one fateful afternoon. she wasn’t even kidding.