i just realized that my role in life is best surmised as this:

a mechanical flipping dog

if a mechanical dog flips on the street and no one is around to see it, does it entertain itself?

lucky for me, i do. y’see, i have an imaginary audience in my head. and they think i’m just a hoot.

that being said, does anybody know anybody like this:

apparently “crazy cluck the wacky chicken” is loads of fun. “This toy chicken walks, flaps it wings and plays the ‘Chicken Dance Song.’ When you pick it up by the neck it makes a comical choking sound.”

get us together and it could be a real party. i’m just saying.