so the 4th of july was pretty great.
i started out as a major bitch because i forgot my jokes on a treadmill at the gym. and i was quite upset about it. i don’t know who else walks around town with a big sheaf of jokes on paper, but they’re probably not as dumb as me. but then my parents took me out for lunch and forcefed me fresh tortilla chips and i settled down. melted queso and thunderstorms will do that to you.
quick, now guac her!
but then some friends and i went to watch fireworks and i was quite appeased. they were so big. in your face big. and there was a poor bat flying around and bats operate through echolocation (i.e., their hearing) so with all those damn fireworks, all he could do was fly around in circles, totally lost. plus most people are afraid of bats. that was the low point of the fireworks.
poor little bloke
the high point was the chandelier fireworks. and the family sitting in front of us who was standing right up until the first fireworks but they brought this paper box with them. and as soon as the first firework (singular?) started, as if robots, one of them deftly flattened the box and they all six of them sat on it, facing out at various angles. it was almost as impressive as the fireworks themselves. and then riding home on a packed subway where this old lady jumped the subway tickettaker stall, and then shrugged at her husband when he was like “what was up with that?” there was a cheeky baby on the subway back too. thank goodness for cheeky babies.