after a lackluster day in the inspirational sense, it just hit me like a sack of potted plants, ending in a shower of damp dirt and lost potential for growth.
people not reading my posts.
they feel the need to POINT it out. it’s a stab to my heartmeat.
“i haven’t been reading your blog/i can’t read your blog anymore.”
“it’s too long. too many pictures.”
“i’ve been deleting everybody from my blogroll anyway. whatever.”
“so i haven’t been reading your blog lately, what’s new?”
“i just usually look at the pictures.”
have you ever gotten this?
well it hurts. but then i realize they wouldn’t say it just to be mean, would they? could they? should they? but then, i was like ‘man, writing is a self-indulgence in itself.’ i like to pretend i have this audience that licks up my words like fingers after cake frosting application but really, who has the time?
i don’t mind so much anymore. self-absorption bubble. pop away! i dare you! the fact that most people have a second to reach out of their ego shower to get a toweling-off (this is not meant to sound sexual) from the outside world is refreshing in and of itself. i’ll take handouts! money for beer!
“you need to take a good look at yourself!
talkin funny and lookin funny and talkin bout NOBODY LOVES ME
YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BAD!!!
~”Help Me Somebody” by david byrne & brian eno + reverend paul morton as interpreted by dan mash