yesterday at comedy was like a delicious bread sandwich with rotten tomatoes in it oozing out worms and mediocrity and the wrath of simon cowell. guess what? (but you saw this coming)
i was the rotten tomatoes.
this is my new headshot
i got on stage and it was like the audience decided they didn’t like me. and every word that came out of my mouth, they looked at me like “who are you? why are you wasting our time? what stupid thing will you say next? whatever it is, we aren’t going to laugh. are you still talking? damn shut up. SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.”
instead of reflecting inward as to why i was sucking badly, i started to hate them. HATE HATE HATE. i felt they were callous stupid people who hated everything about me. they LAUGHED IT UP HARD at the person before me and the person before him and you better believe they LAUGHED like there was no tomorrow at the person after me and the person after him.
yes. so clearly this was all me.
tears were in my eyes when i got off stage but i squished them down. that was terrrrrrible. granted i am still new and prone to bouts of extreme suckitude, but it was a bit too much. the contrast between my set and everyone else’s.
even robots hate me
anyway. that paired with the routine unemployment and such. well, it was a bit trying for a thursday night, is all. eh. a little rejection builds character. i’ll be back. if there’s one thing mama taught me not to be scared of, it’s people in seats staring at me.
no! YOU have a seat, sir!
in some more satisfying news, this man gets me. granted, he doesn’t know me, but pish posh. rotten toe-may-toe. rotten toe-mah-toe.