sometimes i just wish i were this amorphous big furry thing who could troll around with men and women alike without any kind of residual sexual tension. ever. yeah, i know, some of you are thinking, nah, you’d get tired of it. but i wouldn’t. i’d be like the village monster. i could hang out with anybody. my uniqueness itself would ensure constant attention without any drama. if you upset the big furry creature, he/she/it will leave. and then, we’ll just to reenact telenovelas all day, like before.

you can’t negotiate with crazy.