Work it, Girl!

imagine me at a middle school dance in the middle of the star-spangled gym floor swaying to a slow song. yeah i’m totally rocking out by myself. but the point is I FEEL OOEY GOOEY MUSHY SAPPY HAPPY. well, you know as close as i can get being a bipolar spaz monkey. actually my dancing is more robotic and jerky like a deviant who’s not afraid to be public about it.

imagine me here. imagine me happy.
courtesy of Onekama Middle School

this paragraph was brought to you by a few things:

1) I GOT A JOB. hip hip hooray! thigh thigh hurrah! pelvis pelvis zipzapzoom! i think i bore this period of unemployment with dignity and grace, all things considered. there might be a worldwide shortage of chocolate chips though. all things considered though! ooph.

freaking obscene, this is.
courtesy of Fotosearch

2) yesterday at standup, i completely enamored a table full of gay men. no offense, but there’s no one i would rather enamor. really, they’re the only men i want to truly impress. they make you feel loved. they’re utterly enthusiastic with this extra kind of oomph that gets you all pumped. and then you just like feel accepted by the most popular with-it snappy-comeback kids in school. that’s what gay men men mean to me. the end.

i just want to be a cool kid.
courtesy of Together Ministries

3) after i was blown off by the fountain man the other day, i neglected to mention a hippie offered to do my dishes in exchange for a shower. this in itself is worthy of applause.

[applause break]

3 thoughts on “Work it, Girl!

  1. dink says:

    ~wild clapping for the creative hippie panhandler/barterer guy~But HEY! Is that all you’re going to say about THE JOB? Those of us who have been on the trail wid ya would like more details (at least I do) What job? Interesting? How long a commute? Nice building? Snacks readily available? and the 64,000 dollar question: BENEFITS?In any case, no matter what the answers to the questions may be, this is very cool. Congratulations. I’m parcelling out some of the hippie’s applause just for you.

  2. Aparna says:

    dink — thank you thank you thank you. it’s an editorial asst position at a company shmumpany. i must keep some degree of mystery, no? hint: the sodas in the vending machine only cost a quarter!! that’s no hint. long live hippies!

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