imagine me at a middle school dance in the middle of the star-spangled gym floor swaying to a slow song. yeah i’m totally rocking out by myself. but the point is I FEEL OOEY GOOEY MUSHY SAPPY HAPPY. well, you know as close as i can get being a bipolar spaz monkey. actually my dancing is more robotic and jerky like a deviant who’s not afraid to be public about it.
imagine me here. imagine me happy.
courtesy of Onekama Middle School
this paragraph was brought to you by a few things:
1) I GOT A JOB. hip hip hooray! thigh thigh hurrah! pelvis pelvis zipzapzoom! i think i bore this period of unemployment with dignity and grace, all things considered. there might be a worldwide shortage of chocolate chips though. all things considered though! ooph.
freaking obscene, this is.
courtesy of Fotosearch
2) yesterday at standup, i completely enamored a table full of gay men. no offense, but there’s no one i would rather enamor. really, they’re the only men i want to truly impress. they make you feel loved. they’re utterly enthusiastic with this extra kind of oomph that gets you all pumped. and then you just like feel accepted by the most popular with-it snappy-comeback kids in school. that’s what gay men men mean to me. the end.
i just want to be a cool kid.
courtesy of Together Ministries
3) after i was blown off by the fountain man the other day, i neglected to mention a hippie offered to do my dishes in exchange for a shower. this in itself is worthy of applause.