I’ve Arrived! Now All I Need Is a Drink and a Haircut!

i don’t want to scare anybody. but here’s what happened.

my hair is far too curly today. that’s what occurs when you fall asleep with a wet head. it’s so curly that when i run my hair through my fingers, it bites me. the hair does, i mean. in fact, curls are still forming as we speak. not pretty bouncy child pageant curls. no! seamonster bushwoman curls! when i go home tonight, i am going to need some hedge clippers and an affordable landscaper to recreate some kind of a style that conforms to business chicasual, and not business tragicasual.

ok, maybe my problems dull in comparison to this little creature’s…
courtesy of All Vintage Store

speaking of the opposite of curls, oh gilmore girls! oh! you rip my heart apart, and then sew it back together with witty banter and mother-daughter relationships.

courtesy of TV Guide

oh i never talked about the scary thing, did i?

yesterday i went running at peak-dehydration levels. but i couldn’t tell until it was too late. it was the weirdest thing. at first, i felt pretty jazzed like my head was disconnected from my legs, but in a good way. my legs felt pretty freaking awesome like two long stilts running into the wind with no body to hold them back. it was already getting late and i had maxed out on excuses to postpone the fanfare so out i whirred into the street like a placid spinning top.

then i started feeling woozy. and eventually my tongue unstuck from the inside of my cheek and lolled out in the breeze like a dog’s flapping ear. i realized i was no longer running in anything resembling a straight line and i kept tripping over nothings. by then it was dark, and i could have blamed the blackness, but instead i continued onward in my drunken exercise. eventually, i was only really aware of one set of body parts at one time, either my head, arms or legs, but they all felt like they were only tied together by strings of air, loose like a marionette doing the herky-jerky.

courtesy of Kids Books and Puppets

i tried to have coherent thoughts but they all evaporated as steam coming off my forehead even though it was getting cool and cooler. finally, i realized i had “miles to go before i sleep” and i trundled along home, stumbling and zigzagging as it were jumping at imaginary noises and leaves, until i arrived. i realized i had only had 1/2 cup of water all day…trumped easily by a nice 8 oz of caffeine. strangely this isn’t all that unusual for me. i’m a sicko. as soon as i got in the door of the house, i ran to the blue corn chips and lay on the floor and ate them. water? that came 20 minutes later. PRIORITIES are jumbled when one is tangoing with parched neurons.

tomorrow i’m going to try and make and keep a friend in the 30 minutes i have for lunch outside in the sun. ‘ployment has taken me a long way.

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