The Moral Is…Avoid People Sitting On You

did everyone fall in a well? no emails, no blog updates, nada! zip zilch jack squatshot. it’s like everyone is in narnia, and i didn’t get the evite. i’m not hatin’, just speculatin’. say hi to the ice queen for me!

i think today i have the neverending hunger. the neverending hunger is when you know no matter you much you eat, you’re still going to be hungry. at this point, my lunch, through my brain’s perception, will appear to be just a small packet of ketchup with a few bread crumbs (actually a tupperbox of lasagna). squirt squirt. looks like i’ll be raiding people’s candy bowls again. crinkle crinkle. (that’s the sound of fun size bars being stolen)


their appetites are no match for mine
courtesy of Amazon

today this cute boy on the subway made eyes at me. but i couldn’t believe it. so i looked behind me and around me when he made piercing eye contact. as if searching for the supermodel behind or around me. then he laughed all the way at the other end of the train. so i smiled coyly and looked away. then i looked back! and he was yawning, still looking at me. then i mini-yawned and pretended to be immersed in this lady’s bum. then she actually hit me in the side of the head with her bum (i was sitting, her bum was facing me). i couldn’t look at him again after that. the end. i did give the lady my seat though, thus proving again the power of actions over words. i am a 21st century aesop.

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