The Return of Wet Blanket

today i am…

aggravated aparna.
bad mood blanket.
certifiably cranky.

quick! leave before it rubs off on you. but that sounds kind of gross. you shouldn’t let things rub off on you unless they ask for your permission first.

i don’t get this mood thing. most people have moodswings. i have mood seesaws. up down up down sad angry big kid sits down hard and tosses small happy kid way way way into outerspace. not that there’s anything wrong with outerspace. but small happy kid, why doncha send me a postcard? at least let me know when you’re coming back. one can only water the plants with tears for so long.

courtesy of and oak-grove.

that was over the top. no one is watering the plants with tears. i’m just piling on the melodramatic mustard on my life hotdog.

enough metaphors? never! too sexy! too sexy!

here is why i’m collecting massive frequent angsty miles on cryparna airlines:

1a) drunken frat boys heckling my comedy loud enough to distract but not loud enough to be retorted.

1b) encouraging audience members giving me the same look at me as when you’re first riding a tricycle and your dad is holding his arms out like “c’mon! you can do it. pedal towards me!” except they were saying (with their eyes) “c’mon! you can be funny! we will smile robotically until your mouth pedals actual humor at us!…oh, too bad! try again!”

2) inconsistent people. usually when i’m in a bad mood, i’m either mad at the whole world, all my friends or all strangers. today i’m mad at all my acquaintances…the half-friends/half-whatevers. why? i don’t know why. to change things up? keep the old cog in the angst machine running fresh.

3) i’m addicted to sleeping, so much so that i’m finding less and less evidence to justify a case for being awake. seriously, i am self-sabotaging my way to mediocrity. my life accomplishments will be summed up as: “once successfully unwrapped and heated a hot pocket. then ate it cold later.”

well thanks for dropping by. come by again next time when i reverse the effects of a whole bottle of zoloft, not just a daily dose. and you thought it took real problems to do that! hah!

what keeps me going? my childlike wonder, that’s what. hup hup hup.

this kid and i see eye-to-eye on a lot of things.
courtesy of and Pfau.

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