what is this crap?! i just ate my lunch, and my stomach is growling again, not 30 minutes later. and not just a little hungry like oh-perhaps-a-little-snackie-poo, but more like feed-me-something-i’m-eating-for-four-personalities-not-counting-all-twelve-of-my-emotions. WHAT. IN. THE. HOOHAW. IS. GOING. ON. what does it want from me? i’m finding a giant bowl of cereal with marshmallow life-rafts after work.
also my parents made me take, literally, a BUCKET of fruit to work today. a huge party platter quantity of fruit. my mother somehow felt inspired into buying it on her birthday, but barely made a dent in it herself. so my parents assigned me the task of finishing all of the fruit carnivale. so i had to sit in my cube trying to eat a giant bowl of fruit as fast as i could before anyone saw me this morning. i would have shared it but it was past the freshness point of sharing, and was more in the eating-this-will-build-character state of freshness. slightly tangy. like starburst if it were raised in the wild. in any case, no dice. my boss was like “oh that smells good” and came over. and then look horrified when she saw just how much fruit i was eating. i tried to make a joke, but i knew she left our interaction with unsettled thoughts. well, now i have an unsettled stomach. so i guess we’re EVEN. btw, pineapple chunks infiltrate melon consistency. life advice for the ages.
courtesy of Hormel