That’s One Hell of a Sweet Truth You Got There

health nuts beware, you’re in for a scare.

you know how certain foods come in low-fat and regular versions, and you’re holding Healthy Bods magazine in your hand at food selection go-time, and so you think, “oh, ok, it’ll be ok. i’ll just get this low-fat variety* right here, oh yes i will.” and then later you taste it and it is so very delicious. and your next thought could go one of two ways:

1) wow. i guess i really didn’t need that extra fat ever. this here is scrumptastic! muffin in the HOUSE.

or

2) um. this is not low-fat. my fingers are bleeding butter.

yeah. i think the people near my work have this low-fat muffin scam going on. in other words, unless they’re defining low-fat as ‘lo fat! as in HELLOOOOO FATTY FATTTY FATTTTTT. i mean, honestly, no one really gets hurt. until someone does get hurt, right?

they should just start labeling things hella-fat. and forget about this low-fat junx. stay away from the hella’s. or occasionally announce “today i’m eating a hella-fat brownie.” and then if someone tries to say “well, aren’t you a naughty one today?” (for exceeding your diet points or whatnot) you can be like “i already announced my intent. please step off your soapbox of jealous longing.”


hella phat.
courtesy of Flickr.com and rpslee.

and don’t get me wrong. i don’t like worrying about fat in my food. but i do like talking about scams.

*and eat forty of them instead of one

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