My Dealer Is the Doughboy

i don’t even know who i am anymore. this day! oh this day! *shaking fist in air*

my secret santa did however present me with a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You today. i was so happy. i just want to read it in public all the time and wave it around like a born-again girl yelling “SO TRUE!” and “it’s like it was written just for me!” and “preach it, greg!” and “awwww-men!” (that last one actually entitles you to one free virtual punching of me)

i have ODed on caffeine and sugar though when i could have opted for a nice bowl of steaming iceberg lettuce soup today. so now i can’t even walk a straight line. the world is oscillating a bit, etc etc. fainting low self-esteem etc.

WHY am i so ANTSY?!
courtesy of Flickr and Dave Landry

i have been surrounded by some unbelievably good looking men on the street recently. easily as dashing as any models i’ve seen. i don’t know where they come from in their long peacoats and their perfectly tousled hair but they need to keep up the good work (with the good looks). i’ll keep up my end of the bargain by being awkward, walking crooked and looking lost. cuz that’s what i do.

WE HAD OUR COOKIE EXCHANGE at work today though and i now possess 78 cookies, in various shapes, ethnicities, textures and styles plus many gently amusing baking anecdotes involving marital quibbles, broken cuisinarts and head-butting cats (named zidane? yes please). but all were delicious. it was the UN summit of cookies and estrogen anecdotes. everyone in the cookie exchange was a girl.

anyway, i now have to parcel all mine out to any takers but in the meantime, while i was sitting here, i DEFINITELY ate a few too many and will probably deliver a 20 lb. diabetic baby made of shortening, egg yolks, lemon extract, powdered sugar and crushed brazil nuts later tonight. and no, that’s not a poop reference. it’s a baby metaphor reference so you all can just stop scribbling in your dirty thoughts diaries right now.

my stomach is not currently speaking to my brain
courtesy of Flickr and Aileron

in conclusion, we are doomed to repeat facing the decisions we couldn’t make in the first place. that sounded so much wiser in my head. my foggy foggy head.

in spiritual news, there was a dancing xmas display that was a pretty clear sign from a higher being today. it was motion sensitive and it involved a hip-swishing polar bear with two twirling penguin back up singer-dancers. and it stopped. then i wiggled. then it started up again. i’m pretty sure that means something. in at LEAST 5 different languages, one of them being wingdings.

if i took a “what font are you?” quiz, this would be it.
courtesy of Identifont

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