i feel hideous about my cookie OD today. what was i thinking? what has become of me? do i control the amount of cookies i put in my body or do the cookies control me? they have done me wrong but i did them wrong first by treating them so casually, so recreationally. stomachache, nausea, dizziness…from cookies?! you bet. i can’t even look one in the eye anymore. and yet a part of me still wants one…so bad.
NO NO NO. i have a life to live. detox. and we’ll all be better people at the end of this debacle. maybe i’ll even become a public speaker once i’ve been “clean” for a week. anyway, sitting here with a sack of them at my feet beckoning me, whispering to me, seducing me with their winking sprinkles, is the hardest thing i’ve ever battled…after shopping for my secret santa.
ok i feel a smidgeon better. my coworker just told me her boyfriend ate 5 dozen cookies over the course of a day that she had baked for his family. 5 DOZEN COOKIES.
it’s not the number as much as the fact that they were in 4 separate tins. and he had to consciously crack open each one and say “yes i will indulge, thank you.”
recent phone exchange:
me: thank you so much!
delightful artists agency male receptionist: you too!
you too is the new you’re welcome.
in the OMG STFU news:
“Circumcision appears to reduce a man’s risk of contracting AIDS from heterosexual sex by half, United States government health officials said yesterday, and the directors of the two largest funds for fighting the disease said they would consider paying for circumcisions in high-risk countries.”
“Uncircumcised men are thought to be more susceptible because the underside of the foreskin is rich in Langerhans cells, sentinel cells of the immune system, which attach easily to the human immunodeficiency virus, which causes AIDS. The foreskin also often suffers small tears during intercourse.”
wait for it…wait for it…
“But experts also cautioned that circumcision is no cure-all. It only lessens the chances that a man will catch the virus; it is expensive compared to condoms, abstinence or other methods; and the surgery has serious risks if performed by folk healers using dirty blades, as often happens in rural Africa.”
“Circumcision is ‘not a magic bullet, but a potentially important intervention,’ said Dr. Kevin M. De Cock, director of H.I.V./AIDS for the World Health Organization.”
IN YOUR FACE!!!
yeah, the director of HIV/AIDS for the WHO commenting on circumcision and look at his last name!!! de-cock. the amount that this makes me happy speaks volumes about my priorities in life.
courtesy of PROnews