My Other Earring Is Just Not That Into Me

aghhhhhhhhhhhh.

i’m trying to down a giant cup of tasteless cold caramel espresso drink and a giant cup of vitamin soup (to prevent potential illness) at the same time and they both must be finito by go time. one is making me falsely awake (so awake that i might just pass out…it’s a weird state) and the other is making me extremely immunized, at least from the perspective of alternative medicine.

alternative medicine is like the indie rock of the medical world. yeah it might not work, but hey! at least we got an identity, posers! and if you sway your head and just feel it, just work with it, just go…with…it, dag nabbit, something will heal inside.

anyway. let’s get to the main points of the agenda.

1) i lost an earring. normally i wouldn’t care. i have 7 piercings total in both my ears, and from a cup half full angle, one earring doesn’t seem like much of a casualty. except that the one i lost has a symmetrical partner in the other ear. and i might not be very put together but dammit, once i have asymmetrical lobe jewelry, well then, you really need to call in social services! i mean, c’mon, i have a 9-5 job and a cubicle! i better be able to show up to work with a pair of earrings instead of one lonely awkward one.

where is your BFF?!
courtesy of Flickr and Beckmann’s Bakery in Santa Cruz

2) how did i lose the earring? because my parents! my PARENTS! my caretakers of yore made me drive out to countrytownbooneyville yesterday to see a dentist. aren’t you supposed to go closer to cities to get good medical/dental care and not farther away from them? yeah that’s what i thought too. anyway, by the time i got there (after sitting in 2+ hours of traffic) and composed myself, it was basically already prewritten in stone that i was going to lose an earring. and also my sense of humor about dentists.

3) i read he’s just not that into you by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo yesterday. i just wanted to read the first chapter but then i couldn’t stop. and today i couldn’t stop preaching its advice to anyone who would listen to me. basically, guys have to make all the moves and actions speak louder than words ever can. and there are a lot of sucky guys out there so you’ll keep wanting to settle, but once you find the right one, you’ll realize good guys exist too and they make you their number one priority. blah blah. nothing sensational but also the nice slap in the face i needed to get on a soapbox and never get off ever. i might have trouble having my own opinions, but i have no trouble spreading other peoples’ opinions with gusto.

4) cookies are in again. they were out for 5 minutes but these sugar things appeared in the office kitchen and i tried one and it was like a magical stew of self-esteem and hugs. so yeah. it basically told me all the secrets of life including how to collate paper with more dexterity.

oh hello my pretties!
courtesy of Flickr and Sunni Sister: Blahg Blahg Blahg

OH AND FOR THOSE WHO READ TO THE END, the poonanza was a great spectacle of festive hubbly-jooblyness. thanks to all who sat in the audience chairs and everyone who pranced onstage and all the technical woogity woogity folk. it was great jollies for everyone, including me. so kudos bars for that.

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