Stocking Stuffer: Voice Modulation Tapes

yesterday i wanted to watch a real world:denver racial brawl on TV, not because i planned it but because it just happened to be there and it was in your face and real and the best television you can get these days.

my dad protested because of the noise and sounds of tension emanating from the storybox.

so i peacefully passed over remote control to him. i didn’t want to start nothing.

he proceeded to put on the money channel in which one mr. jim cramer, a “crazy” stock analyst proceeded to YELL good investment options at his viewers, occasionally pausing for breath or to mutter things like “COME ON, PEOPLE!” or “HEYyyyyyyyy, NEXT CALLER!!”

someone’s excited about bulls and bears!
courtesy of Media Bistro

don’t worry. i didn’t waste the opportunity.

using some 7th grade science equipment, i measured the sound waves captured from both programs and also the movie “Carrie,” which was playing on the sci fi channel, and i have concluded that financial analyst jim cramer advising on where you can put your dollars easily trumps a racial rumble on the real world as well as a supernatural horror movie in both overall noise chaos, measured in yells per second, and amount of stress created in viewer, measured in sweat droplets on forehead.

just in case you were wondering.

also incidentally, cramer preaches: best buy is the new circuit city.

i think all cramers and kramers like to put the scare in people.

courtesy of WSB TV

and no i didn’t write this entire blog so i could make that joke. but nice try.

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