Tim Gunn Just Threw Up in His Mouth a Lottle

well, my loveys, sorry for the gap in communication. it will not happen again until it happens again.

here is some scoopage.

1) i am trying to dress more boho chic. but my attempts are pretty boho weak. actually, my horrible. pretty should not have even been employed in the last sentence. there is nothing pretty about it. today for example, black torn up sweat pants…with nice corduroy wide-leg capris over those. yeah i’m wearing short pants with more pants coming out of them. nice pants having ugly pants babies. that’s what i thought was the epitome of fashion this morning.

oh wait though, i’m not done!

on top, i’m wearing a shirt dress in various earth tones. and the dress OBVIOUSLY needed to be accessorized (because i can’t see colors in the morning) with a gold and silver woven wicker thickest belt. and then, as if i had a moment of doubt as to my genius choices, i threw on a black zip-up hoodie that looks like a baby spit up all over it.

my fashion choices are dyslexic. i’m the posterchild for hobo chic. the tiny gold headband really tops it off though, as if to say, ok i know there’s a trainwreck going on below the neck but just keep staring at my head. i’m serious. DO NOT LOSE EYE CONTACT.

oh look. someone is succeeding at life.
courtesy of Flickr and Ashleype

2) yesterday i was in an all-day productivity seminar for work. if you know me well enough, you know what i was doing for most of the 8 hours that composed its duration…sleeping (the head bob), organizing and reorganizing my purse (i stuffed a rolodex into the bag and i filed things), listening and writing jokes.

i have problems doing one thing at a time. i did learn however that you need to file every paper you’ve ever gotten in your life in a separate file folder hence the purse overhaul. and label it! label label label!!! the best labelmarker on the market today is the PT-18R. so i learned!

hello new BFF!
courtesy of Amazon

the guy who taught the seminar was awesome. he was half-robot, half-man. he would be all serious, military intense, like clockwork with his inflections and verbiage and then suddenly he would do these bizarre act-outs where his eyes went in different directions and he did silly voices and made incoherent noises like “buhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh.” those were his impressions of the average joes and janes. it was intriguing.

i hope they come out with a pocketsize version of him soon. i will file him under A in a single folder labeled Awesome. yeah, and before you say no, you can’t file people. he told us it’s ok to file things other than papers into folders like keys, plant seeds (for the mandatory garden) and puppies.

3) there are so many inspiring people in the world. for seriously! it could be your neighbor, your uncle twice removed or the guy who bumps into you on the corner. don’t look at me though. my biggest accomplishment recently has been sprouting a rash on my neck. i think my neck is trying to passively-aggressively tell my head something. that something being, “i hate you.”

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