oh, did you know? being sick makes for brilliant new worlds. i left work early due to aforesaid swollen-headedness yesterday and promptly began a long winter’s nap upon head-to-pillow impact. in 8 hours, i dreamt the following:
-boss had “i’m disappointed in you” talk with me
-had a bad comedy set
-3 minorly requited friendships
-1 new crush
-several ho-hum interactions
-made a typo on a spreadsheet
-apocalypse? (but in a believable way)
-friend had “i’m disappointed in you” talk with me
-ate some good food
ok, so basically my dreams are mundane enough most of the time that i wake up thinking that everything that i dreamt actually happened. this is because the normal dayglo marker of a dream is that something occurs in it that is ridiculously impossible (though not seeming so in said dream) but that is a clear indication in daybreak that what you experienced was a dream. anyway, when i woke up after sickness, i was PARTICULARLY even more convinced THAN USUAL that plenty of life had been recently lived and i needed to start making calls posthaste. this was soon squelched by the following happening. me going down to the kitchen to two seemingly doting and concerned parents…
dad: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!
me: um, i don’t know, what?
dad: YOUR EYE IS ALL SWOLLEN.
dad: YES. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?!
(he was shouting–that’s why i’m using all caps)
me: (feeling a bit perturbed at this point) UM *sniffle sniffle*
it feels ok
dad: HEY MOM. COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
*indicates me* WHAT’s UP WITH HER FACE?
mom: huh. (utter disinterest)
dad: LOOK! ONE EYE IS ALL SMALL LOOKING! WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?!
mom: *ever so calm* that’s just her face. we used to make fun of it, remember? the whole asymmetry thing?
ladies and gentlemen, i give you, PARENTS AS DOCTORS. TA DA!
unfortunately, the kitchen-eye interrogation was realer than the most mediocre dream i had.