She Wasn’t That Put Together

yesterday marked my return to the stand up stage after 3 weeks of hiatus. i feared a bomb situation of mass proportions with the silhouettes of crickets burned into the walls from the boom of silence. however, all went surprisingly tidy. i just rambled incoherently about being ill (WHICH IS NOT AN ELABORATE RUSE TO INCREASE READERSHIP BTW) and going to india. anyway, the post-show hijinks made me laugh so hard i tasted vomit. so in all, a good night. i feel extremely queasy today though. going out in public is the sick person’s hard partying.

here’s something that i can’t think of without laughing. my mother and i went to a trendy high-end clothing and jewelry shop while we were in india. the kind where they plop you down on their nice chairs, offer you beverages and snacks, madam, and throw silks and rhinestones in and across your face with nary a pricetag in sight until you’re out on the street in possession of a new diamond-encrusted sari but with not a penny left to your name, and yes, that’s with the exchange rate.

anyway, we were nosedeep in bangles when i just glanced across the room and this very glamorous mannequin’s hand fell off. it just went PLOOP very crudely and landed on the floor. and i couldn’t help but exclaim, “oh my god! that woman’s hand!” and my mother (doctor instinct kicking into high gear) whips around and is like “where?! what?!” and i’m like “look! her!” and i point to the mannequin and my mother smacked me on the head. and the store guys all took one moment to stop looking suave for a second and they all hooted and hawed. no one can keep their cool when a mannequin’s body part falls off. no one.

photo courtesy of Flickr and comeonstacks

is it sad that even when nauseous all i can think of is food? no it’s happy! that’s called hope. actually, i have one special guy in mind. i’m going to a baby shower tomorrow, and i heard he’s going to be there.

THIS GUY. hello there, TRES LECHES cake, my arch nemesis, we meet again.

photo courtesy of Flickr and horcubee

online dating is on the backburner. but still occasionally makes for good news like this guy:

I just simple men who is redy make wild turns in his life. I guess when you see my picture, you alredy know, you wanna send me mesige or not. Easy and simply!:) But i think on your best move.
I seen you soon:)

NO I SEEN YOU SOON wink wink winkely wink!

happy weekend, easter bunnies.

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