Icy Hot, or Not…Icy to Dull the Pain, Hot to Make It Awkward

well, so much for discussion boards. i elicited two responses, thanks to all who participated. wait, i mean, farticipated! hahahah! sigh.

so my household goings-ons get weirder. my mother and i were trying this herbal skin clarification therapy thing this morning in the bathroom. however, at the same time, my mother was applying tendonitis balm for her hands in giant waxy globs. somehow after all was said and done (and i realize this sounds mildly sketchy), i had a big glob of tendonitis balm on the back of my hand…not sure how. upon seeing this, my mother shrieked at me and salvaged as much of the precious stuff as possible, but some of the awesome damage was already done. in conclusion, right now at work, my hands feel numb and fantastic. it’s like typing with ghost hands.

yeah, you heard me, ghost hands!
photo courtesy of Flickr and chase.martin

so i had another run-in with coffeeface today. that’s my new name for the male barista who gives me the heeber jeebers, NOT necessarily because he’s that creepy, but RATHER because i don’t think i raised my hand when he asked for volunteers to be the object of his affection. anyway he used the SAME LINE again on me today (“where have you been all my life?“). isn’t there a rule against that? it didn’t even have as much oomph as the first time he used it. to his credit, he did try another tactic today though. he gave me a secret discount on coffee, and then as if i should kiss his feet in gratitude, he said “see? if you come to my register, you get the hook up.” I DON’T WANT THE HOOK UP, OR ANY HOOK UP, good sir!
please save your wooing techniques for other peahens in the urban jungle.

now there’s a regal specimen worth pursuing!
photo courtesy of Flickr and belowthe49th

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