Life Is a Gas Pedal (Pushed on Accident)

hey so you know that urban legend about how old people are bad drivers?

yeah that one. well i heard two radio news stories this week about old people accidentally pressing the gas pedal instead of the brake while trying to park their vehicles, and ramming into buildings. both unintentional offenders were in their 80s — one male, one female.

anyway, deduce what you want from those. the point is this morning i was waiting to turn out of my driveway into the main street, and i stuck the nose of my car a little too far into the road so i should have just turned, but i saw a car coming so i just waited.

and waited.

and waited.

then i realized this car was zooming closer at a speedy rate of 7 to 10 miles per hour, at best. and as the ’79 wagon finally passed by me in seemingly slow motion though it was actually in real time, the passengers and the driver all looked so visibly offended by having to go around the nose of my car that i was immediately bowled over with eye strikes of contempt. i quickly calculated the collective age in the car to be around 246. and just the faces of utter disgust and sheer unbridled timeless outrage made me feel like i had just severely dissed my elders.

like this, but through the winduh of a cah! yelp.
photo courtesy of Flickr and oscar alexander

which i had i suppose. i tried to make my best “i have volunteered at nursing homes on multiple occasions” face and put the whole incident behind me.

when old people give you a piece of their mind on the road, well, you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom.

that’s why it was immediately satisfying shortly after that one-act tragedy to see a jogger who decided voluntarily not to use his arms for the duration of his exercise, but rather let them swing willynillysillybilly by his side. this delightful event let me once again take my tenuous place one giant head up from the ground on the societal totem pole.

here i am, back where i belong. yes, i am smiling, thanks for noticing.
photo courtesy of Flickr and a2gemma

2 thoughts on “Life Is a Gas Pedal (Pushed on Accident)

  1. Mandrake says:

    Rampant ageism. Sweet. Personally I am waging a crusade against baby boomers who are spending up all our social security and don’t want to pay taxes for college loans and grants that they had. GRrr… I get angry just thinking about their hippie turned yuppie turned Reaganomics selves. Burn the witch! Burn the witch!

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