Don’t You Seattle? It’s Just Perfect!

i just got back from a heavenly almost-but-not-quite-a-week in seattle. if anyone knows of a place i love more than seattle, tell me it and maybe i will blog about it tomorrow.

but today! today is for tickling seattle under the chin and making her/him/it giggle.

here is my impression of seattle —

hi. my name is seattle. and i am perfect.

granted, i am not rainy right now and perhaps it would be valuable to judge me under rainy conditions since that is my state for most of the year, but life ain’t fair and neither is this blog.

did i mention i have organic grocery stores on every corner ritter sporting the latest goods in fancy chocolate and fancier finger puppets?

did i mention i have beaches and roundabouts and obscure peaches and happy little independent coffee shops that find you instead of you having to find them?

did i also mention that i have nice threads stores with 50% off everything sales? but then i have other clothing and gear stores that convert into break dancing battle arenas later that night? (ah woi!)

did i also mention i have so many parks with lovers necking and ducks paddling and space needle vantage points and boats and other postcard template offerings?

did i also mention that i have an incredible comedy scene with shows such as this wonderfest, but also snagging a chance to perform at THIS?! don’t get me started on seattle comics! they are individual gemstones mined by sacred gnomes in caves made of frozen guffaws and chortles.

did i also mention i am made of tofu and soy protein, and vegetarians go here when they die (i.e., recycle themselves)?

did i also mention i am within reasonable driving distance of MOUNTAINS and SPRINGS frequented by NYMPHS and FAUNS?! oh, also…what is humidity? because i don’t know!

did i also mention most of my inhabitants are ridiculously friendly, laid back and hip? actually no matter where you stand in the city, you can easily spot at least 5 tattoos, most likely on the same person.

oh, in case you remain unconvinced, i also have this guy. easily in the running for one of the funniest forces in the universe. he dances into the fire regularly (as shown below). and he just turned 25.

OH AND MY ARCHITECTURE IS AIGHT too — i.e., i have a hot bod.

i can’t talk about seattle anymore because it’s making me wheezy. and cloudy eyed.

so let’s move things right the hell along —

so i was at the coffeeshop this mid-morning and this little girl was eating a banana.
she bit off more than she could chew, literally. she had chomped off half of the banana.
so she calmly stuck the dismembered banana chunk back onto the rest of its body, and tried
as if nothing had happened!
as if nothing had happened!
as if nothing had happened!
courage under fire.
it was breathtaking.

when pursuing women on the internet, make sure to include lines such as the following — “I like girls with nice belly button” (hey it’s original AND specific) but to really reel em in, try “Unlike other guys, i can offer you emotional support and physio therapy when needed.” (PHYSIO THERAPY! aghhhhhhh if you mean ankle weights, i will pinch myself and then you because this must be a dream…come true). i rhymed because i was at a loss for serious.

all for today, ya hoodlums!

2 thoughts on “Don’t You Seattle? It’s Just Perfect!

  1. Golden Silence says:

    <>“…he dances into the fire regularly…”<>As in that lyric from Duran Duran’s “< HREF="" REL="nofollow">A View to a Kill<>“?

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