I Might Be a Machine But I Know Unpopular

after my car was recently declared unfit to drive (i.e., REJECTED), my dad dropped it off for some rest and rehabilitation at the Sweaty Ford Clinic (we don’t drive a ford incidentally but extreme times collect-call for extreme measures). anyway, since my little booboo’s away at mental health camp, my dad chose a loaner car in the form of a Benz SUV. who does that?! it’s huge and pretentious, and it has donald trump’s face on the spinners* (i jest kidding). i can’t drive that. so i’m driving my dad’s car instead — which i have damaged unforgivably 3 times in the all-too-recent past [references: parking lot v. aparna (2006), benevolent oblivious rich guy v. aparna (2007), garage v. aparna (2007)].

as i only let myself drive this giant shrek car up to speeds of 5-7 mph, today morning, on the slow crawl to work, i was reading all the words on the vehicle’s information console such as mileage, how much gas i have, temperature, time, and other juicy info nuggets.

that’s the stuff!
photo courtesy of Flickr and jeffwilcox

but then i was like “HOLD UP!” because one of the things i read on the car panel was “you have 0 new messages.” what! hold on! why is the car telling me i have no new messages! messages from who? and where? and why? and how? and when? anyway, i was pretty upset for a good 2 seconds. not at the fact that my dad’s car also takes messages, but at the fact that he had none.

*learning is fun! the first spinners were invented by a guy from wisconsin.

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