This Is 401-not-o-K

Nothing is working at work! Code Purple Irony Alert.

Hype guy says: “Irony, son!”

At one point last week, our fax machines didn’t work, our email didn’t work, our website didn’t work, our online store didn’t work, and duh, yes, of course, the server was down, helloooooo…what does this look like? A place where we do stuff?! Gawd.

Anyway, believe or not, there’s a reason everything is down. It’s because the company is in the process of migrating to bigger, better systems. And along with every upgrade comes the growing period where everyone slams their doors and yells “I hate you guys! I wish I had a different family!” at each other.

Remember all those comfort goodies we got awhile back? Where are they now? Probably in the same place as all the lost emails and missing webpages. I could take a nap in a bagel right now. Just to rest my head on its donut-shaped surface…

Instead, now it’s just desolation with zombies-formerly-known-as-Jill-from-accounting-or-Phil-from-sales wandering the hallways with vacant looks in their eyes, their fingers twitching from excessive mouse-clicking (to no avail) and keyboard tapping.

Anyway, every time something goes wrong in my department, I’m handed a new responsibility that I am not sure how to handle. So the company’s not the only thing growing! I am too. You have no idea.

In fact, I am not even communicating in words anymore. If anyone at work tries to talk to me, I flail my arms and make drowning noises, and the nice thing is, they understand. In fact, this is a perfectly reasonable reaction to anything right now, most especially, “how’s it going?”

Stiff upper lip.

And trembly lower lip.

[communicated from trench-formerly-known-as-cube at 1400hours]

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