Customer Disservice

so yesterday morning i went to the seemingly happiest starbucks ™ on earth.

the first guy (let’s call him mr. barista) who assaulted me with customer service said “g’morning m’am!” with a lilt in his voice. a lilt before 11am?! how dare he!

then mr. barista called the guy in front of me “cap’n”. yeah. i know. this guy looked like a lee hotti lookalike at best, but mr. barista persisted with “how’s the world treatin’ you there, cap’n?!” even in a coffeeshop on a ship, that wouldn’t be acceptable lingo banter to throw around.

i gave everyone around me a look like “are you all seriously just standing here allowing this to happen? i’m new. don’t expect me to get involved.” it was a really long communicative look.

then from behind the counter this jolly man (let’s call him mocha mike) friendly-yell-asked what i wanted. and i was like wow way to put me on the spot buddo.

and mocha mike was like “do you want whip on that?” with a twinkle in his eye. how was my drink even ready?! i just ordered it. and i was like “uhhh no” and he was like “that’s what i thought” really loudly with a giggle.

EXCUSE ME?! you keep yer giggles to yerself. i don’t know what’s so damn funny.

my outrage was akin to hers
photo courtesy of Flickr and bs70

everyone was dancing. that’s how happy it was in there. people were just tossing their coffee everywhere splash splish splosh sploosh willy nilly havin a grand ole time.

anyway, i went back today to do damage control. and there was a long line of sour faces, and i felt relieved but also slightly pensive about whether yesterday was all a dream. then i realized what it was.

the special seasonal drinks came out yesterday.

today, it was back to the grinder. though they were handing out gingerbread latte samples, that wasn’t enough to quiet the angry pinstripe-blue-shirt-with-white-collar-and-black-suspendered man on line in front of me who had important places to go. i just secretly wished the barista woulda called him cap’n. he would’ve lunged!

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