The Emperor’s New Perm

i don’t want to alarm anybody but this weekend, a dog rejected me.

i was sitting at lunch – it was about three in the afternoon. i had already had brunch earlier that day so i was feeling pretty cocky about myself, in the bourgeois sense. i was sitting angled toward the street though i was already in good company, which is how peoplewatchers do.

just then, a man walked by with a beautiful and regal fur emperor. the emperor appeared to have recently received hair treatment, of the crimping variety. such body and volume! i had to meet this dapper royal, dressed to the canines. upon close observation, i decided he was of fine breeding and agreeable temperament. i leaned over with my hankie as he came by to get a few seconds of his attention.

the emperor gave me a long look with his reflecting pool-peepers. and then sort of wrinkled his nose and shied away.

o heavens!

the inhumanity!

the insanity!

the appointment with disappointment!

to his credit, the emperor’s bearer tried to change the intent of his highness by saying “go on then! say hello!” as he must have felt acutely sorry for me in my giant, whimsical sunglasses stuck like a jester’s cap, jauntily upon my head.

so then the emperor came toward me again for a second investigation. my heart leaped! but one discerning look later, and again i was dismissed like a random afterthought.

vanity does not suit you, fluffy!
photo courtesy of Flickr and Lamerie

i had had enough! i turned my chair back to my table, and tried to jump back into the conversation seamlessly. but alas, it’s one thing to be ignored by a fellow human, but if it’s one of the friendly fur species, then all bets are off as to Team Self-Esteem winning that day’s tourney.

however! later that night i got to watch and meet one of my comedic idols!!!

she is a beyond-amazing performer, and also assuredly, one of the world’s nicest people. her warmth washed away the earlier pain.

i am still drinking mental coffee at starstruck’s as a result.

me basking in the glow of THE BAM!


also this is important!!! for any DC folks!!!

Check out classes with Washington Improv Theater! Spring session starts March 24th! I can’t overemphasize how much worthwhile fun the world of improv provides. You’d have to try it yourself to understand the full extent.

The reviews are in and the word is out: WIT is the area’s premier improv troupe. But WIT players do more than perform improv with great expertise; our players bring the same passion and strengths to teaching improv.

Discover a new sense of freedom and play. Meet other fun and interesting people. Get away from the grind of the scripted city. Our comprehensive curriculum brings a wealth of skills and experience to everyone.

People from all fields take our classes to gain experience thinking on their feet and to unleash their own creativity.

Register now! Find out what one of WIT’s improv classes can do for you by clicking on a listing above for more information or checking out our frequently asked questions page.

To be notified when the next round of registrations starts, email

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