I’ll Take That Virus to Go!

Caution: Poorly used sports metaphors employed below.

Dear Team Immunowarriors,

This is it: the big game we’ve been talking about all season long. It all comes down to brass tacks, or Tic Tacs, or however that expression goes. We don’t even have home game advantage. We have to take a bus tomorrow morning, which is about as alien territory as it gets. Also I know none of you have prepared yet, as we are a team known for our leisurely plays, so start drinking Gatorade until your collective bladder hurts, popping Bennies like you mean it, and resting. Because otherwise they’re socking it to us like they mean it. To be frank, that’s probably going to happen anyway. The point is, it’s time for another battle, and let’s not lose this one as badly as the last time. Sneeze patrol, I’m looking at you guys. All white blood cells on deck. Over and out.

Co-achoooo Parna

P to the Sssssst: Don’t let their “Wastebins full of soggy tissues” scare tactics get to you. They play dirty, but we already know that, don’t we?

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