To Dream, Perchance to Caffeinate

Blurgh. I thought three weeks without coffee would allow me to pooh-pooh my addiction right in the face, but it seems these days I just reminisce nostalgically about my former BFF (yes, as in holding hands with giant takeaway cup frolicking through a field), and about how much more alert I would be if I could just have one teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy sip. The very idea of it is like a sweet melody gently massaging my ears.

I mean, I’m all for naps (for example, I voted yes on Prop ZZzzZz), but a 24-hour zombie dreamstate is a bit much, even for me.

Coffee cups make for great moments of reflection.
photo courtesy of Flickr and Gunjan Karun

On a more life-sustaining note, every day this week has been a reason to celebrate some occasion in the office, whether it be a farewell party or a holiday potluck or a gift basket arriving fortuitously and perkily, and today, a birthday!

It really doesn’t get old. I can’t imagine this getting old. I just can’t. I know there was that Seinfeld episode where Elaine got sick of office cake, but I often yearn for superficial conversation and forced camaraderie right in the middle of the day, and it happens just like clockwork.

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I was most recently advised to joke around with the negative voices in my head, i.e., the ones who disparage everything I do.

I’m going to try it out on paper first. I named my voice Negativitina. Yeah, don’t worry, she thought it was dumb too.

Negativitina: You are doing a horrible job. Everybody hates you. Please give up immediately.
Me: Oh, Tina! You put the T in tease! I swear, it’s just all sunshine and candy rain with you. Hee heee hooo hohooooo!

I’m thinking that I might have to come up with better burns. At this point, I’m trying to tame a phoenix with a squeaky toy. I should go read some YouTube comments. That will pwn the n00b right out of me.

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In conclusion, Gchat conversations that are NEVER OK look a little something like this:

Oh but there’s more…

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