This Is Only a Test (& Yet It Could Determine Your Very Uncertain Future!)

So they’re* testing fire alarms all day at work today.

Pretty standard stuff. And yet…and yet…pretty darn uncivilized as well!

They kindly posted a few signs here and there informing everyone of the testing, and they even sent out an AllStaff email a day in advance.

But still, part of me hoped and prayed that it was some kind of a cruel joke.

But no. Of course not. Piercing sirens have been going off every five or so minutes for the past 30 minutes, and it’s not even lunchtime!

It’s very strange to just sit and listen to “please leave the building immediately” warning noises and flashing lights that jab into the very core of your well-being, and try and act as if it’s, ho hum tiddly dee, just another regular day.

I did put on my headphones, but it’s mostly a formality. They ain’t doin’ poop.

And I’m sure the hypothetical scenario has crossed everyone’s mind that if someone decided to start a fire during this time, no one would leave because they’d think it was still a test.

But I think people are already leaving because we feel like cornered lab rats in a rigged maze where there’s no way to win.

I suddenly understand why they decided to give us our ice cream party today.

P.S. Some of that ice cream is going in my ears and eyes.

*Please imagine they as whomsoever you choose, in whatever monster-like visage that may be. I’m sure you won’t be far off in your guesstimation.

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